What I learnt from committing to a year of conscious celibacy.
In 2017 I had a sexual awakening at a kundalini tantra teaching training in India. It was new and exciting but when I returned to the U.K. familiar patterns kept playing out and emerging in my love life. I decided to take action and committed to a period of conscious celibacy for 9 months, which inadvertently turned into 12.
The rule was simple - no sexual interaction with any other person besides myself.
Here’s what I learnt.
1.MY SEXUAL ENERGY IS MINE!
Although I had already learnt how to masturbate and turn myself on, I often felt like it was dependant on being lost in fantasy or thoughts of another. When I wasn’t in an intimate connection I would “miss” this feeling. Taking time to learn how to fully turn myself off affirmed to me that my sexual energy was all mine and it was me who truly held the keys.
2.THE MOST HEALING THING YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO SEX IS CREATE A REGULAR SELF PLEASURE PRACTICE.
I carved out time regularly for mindful, non-goal orientated, expansive, slow and sensual self pleasure. I learnt tools to incorporate into my practice to deepen each time. It’s quite simple; using breath, sound, movement and different types of touch completely re-wrote my relationship to sex and pleasure.
3.GREAT SEX IS LIKE A MEDITATION. A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE.
When done right, It takes you into altered states of consciousness, much like a breath-work session or plant ceremony. And yet it is something you always have access to. Move away from friction and goal orientated and drop fully into your body, fully into the present and see what happens. It blows my mind / body.
4.YOU CAN REMOVE BLOCKS AND OPEN UP PARTS OF YOURSELF WITH SEXUAL ENERGY & PLEASURE.
Sexual energy is a real and tangible thing. When you slow down and connect to it you can move in, master it! I have spent hours drawing this energy up into my heart, crying tears of release. Sexual energy is healing energy!
5.TAKING SOMEONE ELSE INTO MY BODY & HEART THAT DEEPLY, VULNERABLY & OPENLY IS A GIFT!
It should be respected and revered as such!
If you’re feeling the call to hold space for female sexuality in its healing, awakening & transformative glory then apply for my FEMALE SEXUALITY PRACTITIONER TRAINING. All the details and application can be found here.
