3 things that will TRANSFORM your SEX LIFE

Ok, so there are way more than 3 things you can do to transform your sex life. I’ve been on a journey for years now and it’s ever evolving but I wanted to round up the key things that I could never have got here without.

1. Take a period of conscious celibacy

In 2017 after a Kundalini awakening I suddenly started experiencing an insane amount of sexual energy. Having no idea what to do with it and still finding myself in well worn patterns of chasing after no-good boys, I decided to take my first vow of conscious celibacy, lasting 12 months, and it is one of the best things you can do to transform your sex life.

Whilst I withdrew all my sexual energy and attention from men and romantic pursuits I poured it all back into rediscovering myself as a sexually empowered woman. I committed to regular self pleasure sessions and spent hours exploring myself, often in front of the mirror.

I used breath, sound, movement and mindfulness techniques to break old habits, heal from sexual shame and create new ways of being with myself. It was such a profound chapter in my journey that I did another stint for 5 months last summer, but that’s another story.

2. Learn to work with & regulate your nervous system

One of the major challenges to sex and intimacy is feelings of unsafety in the nervous system.

Once I understood this and developed an awareness of what safety feels like in my body and what I needed to feel safe then sex and intimacy beame much more easier to navigate.

Think about it like this - unsafety is the contraction in your body, the closing, the state that you are least likely to feel like having sex when you’re in it. When you feel safe your body feels relaxed, there is a softening and an opening and pleasure feels accessible.

For many of us we will try to engage in sex & intimacy even when the body feels unsafe because we have not been taught otherwise and then we wonder why sex isn’t that enjoyable. Working WITH my nervous system and not against it has taught me to listen to my body and this has transformed my relationship to sex.

3. Master the art of communicating in your relationships

Specifically communicating your wants, needs & desires. I wouldn’t have been able to do this without having done nos 1 & 2 first. Without having done the inner solo exploration first I wouldn’t have known what it was I really wanted and needed.

A regulated nervous system is a must have when approaching tricky conversations and over-coming the shame, embarrassment and shyness that held me back from speaking my truth. Stellar communication also requires self awareness and a healthy dose of courage. I took a lot of time to self reflect, started a regular journal practice and then bit the bullet and started speaking from the heart. My relationships (and pussy) thanked me for it and became all the more richer and satisfying.

These have formed 3 core pillars in my work that I guide women through in my 1-1 coaching programme and teach in the female sexuality practitioner training:

✨Female pleasure anatomy education and exploration.
✨Nervous system connection and embodied safety.
✨Conscious communication, intimacy building and self expression.

I’m currently taking on 1-1 clients and will be opening the doors to the next round of my practitioner training very soon. If you’re interested in either then drop me a DM letting me know which one you’d like to explore and I can share more deets with you there.

I hope you enjoyed this little insight into my journey. Let me know if it was helpful.