Pleasure not Pressure

One of the biggest passion killers is pressure to climax - and this applies to everyone; cock holders and vulva owners, in lovership or riding solo.

We are pretty hard wired to believe that good sex and masturbation is defined by climax (climax being marked by penile ejaculation or an explosive clitoral/vaginal orgasm).

Climax can be delicious and satisfying and fun. And it certainly holds a place in creating and strengthening the bond between lovers. However, when we are too focussed on the goal or climax we lose presence and connection to ourselves and the other and what’s happening and unfolding in the moment.

We put pressure on ourselves or the other to achieve something and get somewhere and a steaming pressure pot is not fertile ground for pleasure.

Climax is also not the only factor involved in great love making and so an over emphasis on this creates a limited experience where you miss out on all the other juicy parts.

Think of sex and pleasure like a journey - when we are only focussed on getting to our destination in the quickest time possible we avoid the scenic route and miss out on the beauty of the journey. We become frustrated by ques, hurdles and delays which could otherwise be seen as opportunities to stop, slow down, be with ourselves and explore a different route.

We all have deep ingrained patterns and behaviours to “get us there” and without departing from that route we will never truly know what else is available.

We all have deep ingrained patterns and behaviours to “get us there” and without departing from that route we will never truly know what else is available.

Relax, breathe, tune into the sensations that you are experiencing in this moment, explore, try different forms of touch, try another direction, let go of the need to climax. Let go of the need for your partner to climax and surrender into the flow of your bodies and sexual energy merging together in harmony.

Take off the pressure, be present and follow what feels good in the moment instead... you might be pleasantly surprised.